The Dating Game!
by Sailor Miniji
Summary: I thought that America needed a little humor right now. Laughter is the best medicine after all ^_~ The pilots and senshi are on a game show to pick a date. Who will win? Please r/r! ^_~


Hi minna

Hi minna! I just felt like writing this… just to say that people should write more Ami fics, and 'cause I wanted to write something funny to help relive some of the stress we're all having right now. Well, on to the fic!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or Sailor Moon. I do own Aihoshi and Miniji though, 'cause they're my characters in an anime that'll probably never make it, and also, I AM Miniji. ^-^

~*~

*Five girls sit on one half of a stage, while five boys sit on the other half. A large curtain separates them. A girl with long blond hair and a unicorn horn stands next to the girls, and a girl with short, blue/black hair and fairy wings stands next to the boys. Both girls are wearing senshi fukus and have little microphones pinned to their bows. The girl with fairy wings begins to speak.*

Miniji: Hi minna! I'm your host, Miniji!

Aihoshi: I'm your host too! My name's Aihoshi *flashes the peace sign* and welcome to the Dating Game!

Miniji: Today we have very special guests… the five bishonen from Gundam Wing *the crowd claps loudly*, and the five pretty soldiers from Sailor Moon! *the crowd claps loudly again*

Aihoshi: All right, now that you know who the characters are, I'll explain the rules. #1: The audience may not interfere. Especially if they happen to be crazed pacifist stalkers or masked rose throwers. #2: You must answer the questions truthfully. #3: No peeking behind the curtain before you have chosen your blind date. #4: You must choose a date. Okay, that's all the rules. Time for the first question on the girls' side. "What do you look for in a boyfriend?"

Usagi: He should be nice, caring, and be there for me when I need him. He should also be cute!

Ami: *sweatdrops* Um, he should be kind and a gentleman. He should also be intelligent, able to adjust to my study habits, and know how to play chess.

Rei: He should be a gentleman. He should be loyal and caring, too.

Makoto: He needs to be able to accept powerful women *Duo looks at Wufei*, and like to eat good homemade food! He should also be a hunk…

Minako: He needs to like to listen to me perform, be kind, and be totally handsome!

Miniji: Okay, now for the guys' first question, "Where would you take a girl on a date?"

Heero: hn.

Miniji: Well?

Heero: hn.

Miniji: Answer the question!

Heero: hn. Omea o korosu. *pulls out gun from who knows where*

Miniji: *sweatdrops* I'm sorry, but I can't let you do that. *gun disintegrates*

Heero: How did you do that?

Miniji: I'm a fairy, I have powers. Answer the question please.

Heero: hn. Probably out on a walk.

Duo: Oh, you are so boring!

Heero: hn.

Duo: I would take her out to an amusement park! And then we would go to the beach, and then out to eat at a restaurant, and then we would go to the mall and watch a movie, and then we would go get ice cream, and then… *gets cut off by Miniji*

Miniji: It's Trowa's turn.

Trowa: …

Miniji: Well? Answer already!

Trowa: …

Miniji: Nani? Not another antisocial one…

Trowa: …to the circus…

Quatre: I would bring her over to my house, and we would talk over a nice cup of tea. Then we would go out for a walk around my estate.

Miniji: That sounds nice… *winks at Quatre*

Quatre: *blushes* …

Wufei: INJUSTICE! Why do I have to be on this WEAK show? I'm not taking any weak onna anywhere!

Miniji: It's not weak! Answer the question!

Wufei: Why should I? Weak onna?

Miniji: I'm not weak! *blasts him with a energy beam* There. Answer!

Wufei: *Coughs. He's burnt to a crisp and looks extremely angry* Okay, okay. *mutters something about dangerous onnas and their powers* I would take her out to a temple and teach her how to do martial arts.

Miniji: *sweatdrops* Okay. Ai-chan, your turn.

~*~ Commercial ~*~

Voice: Is your nickname 'Justice Boy'? Are you a Gundam pilot? Is your ponytail too tight? Do you call women weak 24/7? If so, call 1800-I-NEED-HELP. We will help you admit that some women are strong.

Wufei: *reads off note card* I called 1800-I-NEED-HELP right away. They helped me to see that women are not as weak as I used to say they were. *looks up* Nani? I didn't call that number! What do you mean that 'They helped me to see that women are not as weak as I used to say they were.'? They are weak! I don't need your help! Who made this commercial? Probably some WEAK on… *gets cut off by voice*

Voice: Call 1800-I-NEED-HELP today! We can help you live a better life. *A picture of Wufei getting dragged off the set in a straitjacket by two women in black trench coats and sunglasses fills the screen*

~*~ End Commercial ~*~

Aihoshi: Okay! Now, girls, for your next question… "What do you like to do in your spare time?"

Usagi: I like to go to the arcade! And I like to read manga, and go shopping with Minako-chan!

Ami: You should really learn to study more, Usagi-chan.

Usagi: But I don't like studying! *wails*

Ami: *sweatdrops* I like to study,

Usagi: *interrupts* That's a hobby? You really need to get out more, Ames.

Ami: *sweatdrops* As I was saying, I like to study, read, swim, and play chess.

Aihoshi: Wow. You really DO need to get out more!

Usagi: Hey! Who gave you permission to tell her that? I'M the only person that can insult her about that!

Ami: Yeah, she's the… Hey! Usagi, did you just insult me?!?

Aihoshi: Yeah, she did. 

Miniji: *comes around curtain* Aihoshi! Don't insult Ami!

Ami: Thank you Miniji…

Aihoshi: *looks at Miniji's 'glare of death' that would be a TM, but since my anime's not out it's not ^.^* Eep… Stop scaring me Miniji… I won't insult her anymore… *Miniji leaves* Geez… 

Rei: I like to meditate and read manga, when Usagi doesn't steal them.

Usagi: Hey!

Makoto: I like to cook, clean, and do martial arts!

Minako: I like to sing, and dance, and go shopping!

Usagi: Don't you go looking for cute boys?

Minako: Well, yeah, but that's not a hobby!

Aihoshi: *sweatdrops* Back to you Niji-chan…

Miniji: Okay then. Boys, your next question is, "If you were an animal, real or mythological, what would you be?" 

Heero: hn.

Miniji: STOP SAYING HN! 

Heero: *sweatdrops*

All but Heero: *gasp* Heero sweatdroped!

Heero: So? I would be a griffin.

Miniji: Why?

Heero: I dunno, just because.

Miniji: Okay… Duo?

Duo: I would be a bat! They're so cool! They're the only mammal that can fly, and they live in the dark, and the vampire bats drink blood, and… *rambles on for five minutes* and they're cool!

Miniji: *sweatdrops* Okay, Trowa, what would you be?

Trowa: …

Miniji: Come on, I know you're cute, but answer already!

Trowa: …

Miniji: ANSWER! *hand glows with energy*

Trowa: *looks at the still blackened Wufei, then gulps* …I would be a lion…

Miniji: Aww! Lions are sooooo cute! I got to pet a baby lion once!

Trowa: Really? You can come to the circus later, we have a few new cubs…

Miniji: Really? *has hearts in eyes* Okay! *glomps onto Trowa*

Quatre: I would be a pegasus.

Aihoshi: *from around screen* Why not a unicorn?

Quatre: Um, because pegasuses have wings?

Aihoshi: Okay.

Miniji: *glomps onto Quatre* Really? They're my favorite mythological creatures! I wanted to buy a crystal one when I was in Germany, but it cost around $500 and I didn't have enough money…

Quatre: I'll buy it for you!

Miniji: Really! Thanks Quatre-chan! *turns chibi and has hearts in eyes*

Quatre: Aww… *coos over the overly kawaii Miniji*

Wufei: Onna! *Miniji looks over to him*

Miniji: What?

Wufei: It's my turn!

Miniji: Oh. *returns to normal self and walks back to the front of the stage* Okay, go on then.

Wufei: I would be a dragon!

Miniji: You made me go away from Quatre to hear that?

Wufei: Yeah… 

Miniji: Okay. *walks over to Quatre and glomps him again*

~*~ Commercial ~*~

Quatre: Do you need a loan? You've probably been to many loan companies and have been rejected. I know how annoying that is, mainly because you have to do mountains of paper work for every loan that you will never even get. Well, my company is different. We'll pick you up in one of my many private limousines, and let you try to get a loan, without all the paper work. The only problem is… YOU'LL STILL GET REJECTED! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

~*~ End Commercial ~*~

Aihoshi: For the next question! "Describe yourself in one sentence!"

Usagi: I'm a beautiful natural leader that likes to have fun.

Rei: *cough* Ditz *cough* 

Makoto: *cough* bad cook *cough*

Usagi: Hey!

Ami: I'm a shy, intellectual girl that likes to swim and play chess.

Rei: I'm an independent, beautiful priestess that doesn't trust guys.

Makoto: I'm a strong girl that likes to cook, clean, and bake!

Minako: I'm a beautiful princess that likes to sing, dance, shop, and look for boys!

Usagi: Shh! Don't tell them that you're a princess!

Minako: oops!

Miniji: *slaps forehead* Too late…

Aihoshi: You're a princess! Me too! What realm are you from? Don't you have to protect it? You have powers, right?

Minako: Uh, yeah. *confused* A realm? I'm from Venus…

Aihoshi: Oh? What kind of magical creatures live on Venus? I thought they all lived in different realms…

Minako: None that I can remember… 

Aihoshi: *shocked* But aren't YOU a magical creature? You'd have to be if you had power…

Minako: Huh? I'm not a magical creature, I'm a princess!

Aihoshi: But princesses don't just have power, they have to receive their power from the magical creatures that they were reincarnated from!

Minako: No they don't… *confused* Venus gives me power…

Aihoshi: Nani? *confused*

Miniji: *sweatdrops* Ai-chan… you're forgetting that the senshi get their power from their planets… they're not reincarnated from magical creatures like us…

Aihoshi: Whatever you say, Niji-chan… 

Duo: The five girls over there have powers too? And they're princesses?

Minako: Yup! Don't you know who Sailor Moon and the other senshi are?

Duo: You mean you're them?!?

Minako: Yup! I'm the senshi of love and beauty, Sailor Venus! *makes the V sign*

Aihoshi: Really? I represent love too! 

Duo: We're going to go out with the Sailor Senshi?!?

Miniji: Hai!

Duo: Cool!

Wufei: We're going out with those, those onnas that have _powers_?!?

Aihoshi: Hai!

Wufei: *grumbles something about never wanting to be on this show anyway, and now they would have to go out with onnas that could throw more energy beams at him*

~*~ Commercial ~*~

Sailor Moon: Hold it! Yeah, you, the one with the remote! I fight for love! I fight for justice! I'm Sailor Moon, and I forbid you to change this channel! 

Sailor Senshi: Right!

Tuxedo Mask: Watch Sailor Moon at five, six central, on Toonami!

~*~ End Commercial ~*~

Aihoshi: Niji-chan, it's your turn to ask a question!

Miniji: *tightens her grip on Quatre* Do I have to?

Quatre: *blushes* …

Aihoshi: Yes.

Miniji: *sighs* Okay. *reluctantly lets go of Quatre*

Quatre: *blushes redder* …

Miniji: Here's your question: "What is your favorite movie?"

Heero: hn.

Miniji: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! STOP IT!!!

Heero: *smiles, though it's that one smile that he has before he blows something up 'cause that's the only smile that he knows how to do* I don't have one.

Miniji: How come?

Heero: I've never seen a movie.

Miniji: Really? Then what's your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Heero: …

Duo: What spare time? All he ever does is hide from Relena.

Relena: HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Heero: *cringes at the sound of her scream* What?

Relena: *runs up on stage* Heero, how come you're on a dating game? *eyes tear up* Don't you love me?

Heero: hn.

Miniji: Rule #1! The audience must not interfere!

Relena: What kind of rule is that? It doesn't help bring peace to the world.

Miniji: It's not supposed to.

Relena: Then I don't have to follow it! The queen of the world doesn't have to follow rules!

Miniji: Yes you do!

Relena: Who says?

Miniji: I do.

Relena: I don't have to listen to you, I'm higher in status than you!

Miniji: How can you be so sure?

Relena: Because I'm Relena Peacecraft.

Miniji: Wrong answer. GET OFF MY STAGE!

Relena: No.

Miniji: Wrong answer number two! You have 3… 2…

Relena: I don't have to go if I don't want to!

Wufei: Relena, you might want to follow her orders… she's pretty powerful…

Heero: What are you saying? *clamps hand over Wufei's mouth* The sooner she's gone, the sooner the world will come to peace!

Miniji: 1! *glows* 

Relena: Eep!

Anne (from The Weakest Link): *stands up and shouts* You ARE the weakest link! Good-bye! *sits down*

Miniji: *blasts Relena into outer space* Bai-bai!

Relena: HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOOOOO!!! *disappears*

Duo: Yea! *the song "Ding dong the witch is dead!" from the Wizard of OZ plays*

Heero: *smirks* Okay, to answer that question. From this minute on, I like to remember that I'll never have to see Relena ever again!

Miniji: *sweatdrops* Good hobby, Heero… Duo? What's your favorite movie?

Duo: I don't have one.

Miniji: *sweatdrops* Not again… don't tell me… you've never seen a movie either.

Duo: No, I've just seen too many to choose! 

Miniji: Okay. Trowa?

Trowa: …

Wufei: *leans over to Trowa* You might want to answer her…

Trowa: …Little Nemo…

Duo: Little Nemo?!? That's a kid's movie!

Trowa: …It's the only one I've ever seen…

Miniji: Really? I'll take you out to the movies Trowa! And then you will have seen two movies!

Trowa: …fine…

Quatre: Ever After.

Duo: You like a Cinderella movie?!?

Quatre: I haven't seen many movies either, and the ones that I have seen are the ones that my sisters picked out.

Miniji: Oh. 

Wufei: I don't watch movies. They're for the weak.

Miniji: Are you saying that one of the greatest masterpieces recently made by mankind, that took over fifty years to add color and sound to is for the weak?

Wufei: What are you talking about onna?

Miniji: Stop calling me onna! *eyes flash*

Wufei: Fine. I'll answer the question. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

Miniji: I should've known that you would say something like that.

Aihoshi: Miniji, since you're not having the greatest time with that question, and since all of the boys have answered, I'm gonna ask my next question now.

Miniji: Okay. *glomps Quatre again*

Aihoshi: "What music do you like to listen to?" It can be a type of music, a group, or a song.

Usagi: I like N'SYNC! Justin's soooo cute!

Miniji: No he's not.

Usagi: Yes he is! Isn't he cute here? I even got him to sign it for me! *holds up poster*

Miniji: No.

Usagi: Oh well. He's still cute to me!

Ami: I like to listen to classical music. It's really nice. I especially like orchestra music.

Quatre: I play the violin!

Ami: Really? Maybe you can play it for me sometime?

Quatre: *blushes* Sure.

Miniji: *jealous* I play the violin too!

Rei: I listen to spiritual music. And pop.

Makoto: I listen to lots of different kinds of music, mainly classical and jazz.

Minako: I listen to pop! I especially like the Gorillaz!

Ami: Who's that?

Minako: A group. They sing really cool songs, except they don't make much sense. *sings* I ain't happy! I'm feelin' glad I got sunshine in a bag! I'm useless but not for long my future is coming on...

Ami: Okay.

Miniji: *gets pried off of Quatre by Heero and Wufei* Okay! For your next question… *reads off little note card* "What is your favorite candy bar?" Nani? How's that supposed to help them choose a date?

Mysterious Voice: How am I supposed to know?

Miniji: Who are you?

Mysterious Voice: I'm the person who comes up with all the questions for this game. I only put in that one because I couldn't think of anything else.

Miniji: Okay. Well?

Heero: hn. *looks at Miniji's 'would be' TM death glare* Recess Peanut Butter Cups.

Miniji: I love those!

~*~ Commercial ~*~

Voice: How Heero Yuy eats a Recess Peanut Butter Cup: *Heero appears*

Heero: hn.

Voice: You eat Recess Peanut Butter Cups by saying 'hn'?

Heero: No. *five minutes go by*

Voice: Well… how DO you eat a Recess Peanut Butter Cup then?

Heero: Why should I tell you? You could work for OZ.

Voice: I don't work for OZ.

Heero: How do I know that?

Voice: *exasperated* Just eat the Recess Peanut Butter Cup already!

Heero: How do I know it's not poisoned?

Voice: *angry* IT IS NOT POISONED AND I DO NOT WORK FOR OZ, WHATEVER THAT IS! JUST EAT THE RECESS PEANUT BUTTER CUP!

Heero: Fine. *holds out detonator* Omea o korosu, Peanut Butter Cup. *he presses the button and the candy explodes*

Voice: There isn't a wrong way… to eat a Recess. 

Heero: Omea o korosu.

Voice: You can't do that!

Heero: Why not?

Voice: Because I'm a voice! Put that gun away!

~*~ End Commercial ~*~

Duo: I love Recess Peanut Butter Cups too! But my favorite candy is probably musketeers.

Minako: Really? Cool! That's _my_ favorite candy!

Trowa: I like snickers.

Quatre: My favorite candies are strawberry cream savers.

Wufei: Lemon drops. *everyone stares at him* What? If the greatest wizard in the world can like them, why can't I?

Duo: Who's the greatest wizard in the world?

Miniji: Dumbledore! *receives blank stare* But I thought Harry Potter was popular!

Ami: Technically, it is. But there aren't many readers in here. *glances at Usagi*

Aihoshi: For the girls' final question: "Do you care what your dream date looks like? If so, tell us what he should look like. If not, tell us why."

Usagi: Of course it matters what he looks like! He has to be tall, and mysterious… just like Mamoru… 

Ami: No, it really doesn't matter to me. As long as they're nice on the inside, it doesn't matter what they're like on the inside.

Rei: Yes, no wait, no! No, wait, yes… it matters. He has to be handsome… he has to have a great voice, and be tall, and have nice eyes.

Makoto: Of course it matters! *sighs* They have to look like my old boyfriend…

Usagi: Mako-chan, all boys look like your old boyfriend.

Makoto: Not if they're ugly! 

Minako: They have to be handsome! Absolutely! They have to be tall, and kawaii, and have wonderful eyes, and be awesome!

Aihoshi: Thank you for answering all of your questions truthfully. Pilots, we will now take a break and let you write down the choice of your date on the chalkboard in front of you.

Duo: What chalkboard? *chalkboards and chalk appears under every seat*

~*~ Commercial ~*~

Duo: *in a very fake accent* Hi there! I'm Duo Maxwell, and I'm here to predict your future! Call 1800-WOULD-BE-FREE for your $4 per minute tarot reading! Ooh! We have a caller now!

Caller: Hn. My name is Heero Yuy, and I was wondering if you could give me a tarot reading.

Duo: Why, sure! *lays cards on table, then covers the talking end of the phone* How do you do this again?

Quatre: I dunno… just pick up cards and tell him what you think they mean!

Duo: *picks up cards and uncovers phone* Uh, I'm sorry. I had to put you on hold for awhile to get my mind cleared for the spirit world.

Caller: Fine.

Duo: *picks up a card* Uh, you are going to go on a dating show, and then later in the week blow something up, almost kill yourself, but not die because you CAN'T die!

Caller: What a gyp. Anyone could've predicted that! *hangs up*

Duo: Uh, so call in for your free *Quatre whispers something to Duo* …uh, I mean $4 per minute tarot reading today!

~*~ End Commercial ~*~

Miniji: Okay bishonen! Now that you've chosen which girl to date, it's time for your final question. "What would you do to end a fight between yourself and your new girlfriend?"

Heero: hn. Easy… I would pull out a gun and say omea o korosu.

Duo: I would talk my way out of the fight.

Trowa: …I would apologize. If that didn't work, bring them to the circus and show them the baby lions.

Quatre: I would apologize and try to compromise with her. If that didn't work I would…

Duo: Bribe them with money?

Quatre: No! I would tell her that she could stay with me if she wanted, or be free to go find someone else!

Wufei: I would introduce her to my kantana. No woman that is worthy of me would fight with me unless she was unjust, and if she was unjust I would have to kill her anyway.

Miniji: Okay… Girls, pick your dream date! If you pick a person, and that person picked you, then you get to go on a date with them. We'll be right back!

~*~ Commercial ~*~

Trowa: …

Catherine: TALK!

Trowa: …Come see the circus…

Catherine: No! You have to do it like this… COME SEE THE CIRCUS! IT'S IN YOUR HOMETOWN! WE HAVE EVERYTHING FROM ACROBATS TO LIONS TO CLOWNS! COME SEE IT TODAY! See? Now say that!

Trowa: …Why should I? They already know what this commercial's about. Why do they have to hear it again?

Catherine: Good point.

~*~ End Commercial ~*~

Miniji: Now, for the results! 

Aihoshi: Girls, hold up your cards!

Usagi: *holds up card that says Heero*

Ami: *holds up card that says Quatre*

Rei: *holds up card that says Heero*

Makoto: *holds up card that says Duo*

Minako: *holds up card that says Duo*

Aihoshi: And we have Heero, Quatre, Heero, Duo, and Duo!

Trowa: …

Wufei: What? No one picked me? Stupid onnas!

Miniji: Okay boys, hold up your cards!

Heero: *holds up card that says Ami*

Duo: *holds up card that says Minako*
Trowa: *holds up card that says Ami*

Quatre: *holds up card that says Ami*

Wufei: *holds up card that says Ami*

Miniji: Ooh, only two of you girls get to go on dates! Would you like to hear the results?

Sailor Senshi: Yes!

Miniji: Okay, we have Ami, Minako, Ami, Ami, and Ami! Congratulations Ami and Minako! You two will be sent on a cruise with your dates! *the curtain lifts up*

Ami: Four of them chose me?

Miniji: Yep!

Ami: Oh my… *turns crimson*

Miniji: Ami, Minako, Duo, Quatre, and Trowa, would you please come to the front? The rest of you, leave through the side doors.

Wufei: How come Trowa doesn't have to leave? He didn't get a date.

Miniji: Well, Trowa promised to take me to the circus to see the lion cubs.

Wufei: Oh yeah… *leaves with Heero, Usagi, Rei, and Makoto*

Aihoshi: *brings Minako over to Duo and Ami over to Quatre* Here's your dates!

Minako: Hi! You're cute!

Duo: So are you!

Quatre: Hi, Ami. *blushes crimson*

Ami: Hi, Quatre. *blushes crimson*

Miniji: Now go out the back door and you'll meet the Mysterious Voice. He'll bring you to your cruise ship!

Ami: How do we know what he looks like? 

Miniji: Hm… good question. Aihoshi, why don't you escort them outside?

Aihoshi: Okay. Come on. Bai-bai minna! *waves and leads the pairs though the door*

Miniji: Well, it's just you and me left Trowa!

Trowa: …

Miniji: Let's go see the lions now!

Trowa: …ok…

Miniji: Ja ne minna-san! *smiles and takes Trowa's hand* TELEPORT!

*Miniji and Trowa disappear in a flash of light. The audience is left alone to find their own way out of the building.*

~*~ Owari ~*~

^-^ That was so much fun to write! Well, r/r, but I can't stay any longer 'cause Trowa-kun's bringing me to see the baby lions! Ja ne!

-Sailor Miniji ^-^


End file.
